The purpose of the robot is to serve man. And apparently, in this case, that means with a side of fries…
Sometimes you’ve got to wonder who approves programs like this. I’m used to stupidity, but this goes beyond the scope of human decency.
There’s a company in Maryland, Robot Technology Inc, which has a Pentagon contract for the creation of a steam-powered self-propelled military robotic “platform” that would be self-fuelling. According to the company, the robot “can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass,” then going on to cite said biomass as “…gasoline, heavy fuel, kerosene, diesel, propane, coal…” and, oh yes, “ANIMAL AND HUMAN CORPSES, PLENTIFUL IN A WAR ZONE.”
This marvel of recycling goes by the name “Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot,” or EATR.
RTI then continues its glowing evaluation, stating that EATR could be used as a platform for things like a “mobile gunship” or “ambulance” could be “built on,” exulting in the idea that PacManator could “roam on its own for months, even years…”
Well, there’s an image for you – scores of Transformers with a taste for Long Pig roaming the battlefield crunching down human corpses with a roadkill appetizer.
What I’d like to know is, can this machine discriminate between our soldier’s corpses and the enemy’s. How’s that for a letter home:
“The Department of National Defense regrets to inform you that your son succumbed to wounds acquired in combat. We further regret to inform you that his remains are not available for burial owing to the fact that they were consumed by a robotic EATR unit deployed in his area of operations as an autonomous fire-support vehicle.”
How grotesque is that, folks? Also, although I stand to be corrected on this, the desecration of corpses is also illegal under the Geneva Accords.
We have “mobile gunships” – they’re called tanks and helicopters. We have “ambulances” that usually require medics to run out onto the fray to administer battlefield first aid to prevent the soldier’s immediate death and stabilize him for transport. You’re not going to tell me that EATR could do that. More likely just sit there while the poor sod bleeds to death so it can have a re-fuelling moment. Which also begs the question, does this abomination have the capability of determining when a soldier is actually dead or just comatose from exsanguination or traumatic shock?
It is thought that this program got green-lighted in 2003. Why does that not surprise me?
How many millions of your dollars has this bloody nightmare volatized? Better yet, what degenerate luminary in the Pentagon thought this was an idea worth pursuing? (My guess is someone who took the movie “The Wild, Wild West too seriously) I suggest a more efficient methodology. Since EATR is apparently steam-powered, just hook Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, et al, up to its fuel line. Their hot air should be able to keep this monstrosity powered for at least the next four years.